Women

So much have been written on the topic of understanding "Women". Thousands of books have been dedicated to help men understand how women think, feel and react. Women are just so complex that most men are clueless about how their partners really feel and what they are actually thinking. I don't blame them. 

Being a woman, let me explain a little bit about my kind. 

Women are generally sensitive. We are rather prone to being hurt, either by words said or unsaid, actions done or omitted: especially by those whom we love. We have some sort of expectations of our partners (unfortunately the expectations are normally sky-high!). So, based on these expectations (that are often set subconsciously), we would expect certain things from our partners (although we never ever discuss these expectations with our partners). Of course, women would never want to tell their partners about their expectations as they feel that their men should know them well enough to know what they want! 

So, you would generally find women feeling hurt for something that is not done by her partner, although the guy had absolutely no idea about what it was that he was supposed to have done to avoid hurting her! (Get what I mean about men being clueless?)

Let me give you an example to illustrate this point: A woman would expect flowers on her birthday. (She would of course deny this if ever her man asked her if she would like flowers for her birthday). The man, being a man, would just either (1) Totally forget it was her birthday until the day itself (which is not unusual), then panic; or (2) Know it was her birthday but wouldn't buy her flowers since its such a waste of good money (dah la mahal, lepas 3 hari, bunga dah layu. Baik beli beras 3 kampit, boleh makan sebulan); or (3) Bring her to Parkson & ask her to choose her own birthday present (which he thinks is the most practical thing to do - better buy her something that she really needs right?).

Guys, you will definitely get your woman in an absolutely foul mood on her birthday (which is never a good thing) if ever any of the above scenario happens. She will sulk for days (women are rather good at this) & if you ask her "What's wrong?" - she will reply "Nothing's wrong". Ok, all you men out there, remember this: if ever your wife or girlfriend says that nothing's wrong, Something is definitely wrong! She will never admit to you that she's hurt unless if you draw it out of her gently (which will give you extra points, but it may take days of pujuk-memujuk). So, to avoid all the hassle, please get her some flowers (bunga petik from your garden pun takpe) & a small present (not a blender please). It doesn't need to be expensive. It just have to be thoughtful. She will be smiling for days & you will be pampered for weeks. 

Women just want to feel appreciated. She hates to be taken for granted. She wants to feel loved and be loved. She is so insecure about how her partner feels about her that she needs him to give her the reassurance every now & then by hearing him say the words "I love you". This may seem trivial to a man, but believe me, to a woman: it means the world.

After 15 years together, Zaharim has learnt so much about me (& I'm really complex, seriously). He would know immediately if something was wrong, just by looking into my eyes. He knows what pleases me, and displeases me. When I'm unusually quiet, he could differentiate whether I'm just deep in thought, or I'm hurting. He knows me too well. & I appreciate him for that.

I could write more about women, but maybe in future postings. In the meantime, good luck to all men in your journey to learn more about your partner. To all Sisters out there: Continue to perplex your men, but be kind to them. They really are trying to understand you better!

Footnote: Many of you may have read the famous bestseller "Men are from Mars & Women from Venus". I'd just like to recommend a lesser known book: "Men are like waffles & Women are like spaghetti". It's funny.