Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Awakening

It was a journey like no other.

The feeling of being in MasjidilHaram and facing the Baitullah for the first time is just too amazing for words. I felt a throb in my chest, and all my senses felt as if they tingled, and without even realizing it, I was in tears. It seemed like everything else which surrounded me, the crowd, the people, the sounds, moved to the background. I only saw the Kaabah and there was me. It was such a surreal experience.

It was as if something in me had finally awakened, as if I had found something that I didn't even realize I had lost. Maybe I had found myself. The true reason for my being. Why I am placed on this earth. I am now finally at peace with myself and my Creator.. Rasa begitu dekat dengan Allah..

Alhamdulillah, AZ and I were blessed to arrive in Tanah Suci on the official first week of visa Umrah. This means that the holy place was not crowded as usual. Semua perjalanan, urusan dan ibadat telah dipermudahkan oleh Allah. Alhamdulillah. Kami berkesempatan membuat yang wajib dan sunat. Bersolat dan berdoa di tempat-tempat yang paling diidamkan. Menyempurnakan amal dan ibadat yang tidak pernah kami lakukan sebelum ini. The mosque is just so beautiful and peaceful. I felt so blessed to be a guest in Allah's home.. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Every prayer was so precious. Almost every time I sought His forgiveness, His indulgence, His guidance, every time I thanked Him for everything that He has given me, tears would just fall. What a feeling to pray with the Kaabah right in front of you and the sky above you. I kept closing my eyes and re-opening them to see whether or not I was dreaming. Whether or not I was really saying my doa in front of the Kaabah. For the first time ever in my life, I was looking forward to every waktu solat. Even Subuh! Masya Allah..

Every daily activities in Mekah are scheduled around prayer times. How wonderful is that? Why can't it be the same in Malaysia? Shops are temporarily closed during prayer times which means that everyone can walk over to the mosque and solat berjemaah. 100,000 kali ganda pahalanya dibandingkan dengan solat di tempat-tempat lain. Wow! Terlalu hebat ganjarannya..

Now I understand what Mak meant when she said that I would only fully appreciate the feeling of being in Mekah when I go there. And I understand that praying is not just for Allah, but also for me, to cleanse my mind, my heart and my soul so that ultimately, I would be able to perfect my submission to Allah.

Ya Allah, aku memohon dariMu untuk diberi peluang lagi menjadi tetamu di RumahMu bersama-sama dengan AZ dan anak-anakku... Amin..