The Awakening

It was a journey like no other.

The feeling of being in MasjidilHaram and facing the Baitullah for the first time is just too amazing for words. I felt a throb in my chest, and all my senses felt as if they tingled, and without even realizing it, I was in tears. It seemed like everything else which surrounded me, the crowd, the people, the sounds, moved to the background. I only saw the Kaabah and there was me. It was such a surreal experience.

It was as if something in me had finally awakened, as if I had found something that I didn't even realize I had lost. Maybe I had found myself. The true reason for my being. Why I am placed on this earth. I am now finally at peace with myself and my Creator.. Rasa begitu dekat dengan Allah..

Alhamdulillah, AZ and I were blessed to arrive in Tanah Suci on the official first week of visa Umrah. This means that the holy place was not crowded as usual. Semua perjalanan, urusan dan ibadat telah dipermudahkan oleh Allah. Alhamdulillah. Kami berkesempatan membuat yang wajib dan sunat. Bersolat dan berdoa di tempat-tempat yang paling diidamkan. Menyempurnakan amal dan ibadat yang tidak pernah kami lakukan sebelum ini. The mosque is just so beautiful and peaceful. I felt so blessed to be a guest in Allah's home.. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Every prayer was so precious. Almost every time I sought His forgiveness, His indulgence, His guidance, every time I thanked Him for everything that He has given me, tears would just fall. What a feeling to pray with the Kaabah right in front of you and the sky above you. I kept closing my eyes and re-opening them to see whether or not I was dreaming. Whether or not I was really saying my doa in front of the Kaabah. For the first time ever in my life, I was looking forward to every waktu solat. Even Subuh! Masya Allah..

Every daily activities in Mekah are scheduled around prayer times. How wonderful is that? Why can't it be the same in Malaysia? Shops are temporarily closed during prayer times which means that everyone can walk over to the mosque and solat berjemaah. 100,000 kali ganda pahalanya dibandingkan dengan solat di tempat-tempat lain. Wow! Terlalu hebat ganjarannya..

Now I understand what Mak meant when she said that I would only fully appreciate the feeling of being in Mekah when I go there. And I understand that praying is not just for Allah, but also for me, to cleanse my mind, my heart and my soul so that ultimately, I would be able to perfect my submission to Allah.

Ya Allah, aku memohon dariMu untuk diberi peluang lagi menjadi tetamu di RumahMu bersama-sama dengan AZ dan anak-anakku... Amin..

Labaikallah Hummalabaik..

Alhamdulillah, we received confirmation last night that our Visa Umrah has been approved and Insya Allah we will be embarking on our spiritual journey soon..

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan kami ini dan terimalah segala amal ibadat kami.. Janganlah Kau menduga kami dengan dugaan-dugaan di luar kemampuan kami.. Tingkatkanlah kesabaran kami dan hilangkanlah kemarahan kami.. Ya Allah, kami pohon dariMu kesegaran tubuh badan semasa menjalankan ibadah ini, kuatkan keimanan dan kepercayaan kami, tambahkanlah ilmu pengetahuan kami, keberkatan rezeki, peluang bertaubat sebelum mati, mendapat rahmat pada saat kematian menjelang tiba serta mendapat pengampunan selepas mati. Hanya kepadaMu tempat kami memohon dan berlindung, Ya Allah.

Sebelum berangkat, saya ingin meminta ampun dan maaf dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki sekiranya saya pernah menyinggung perasaan sesiapa di sini by something I said, or didn't say, did or didn't do, or if something I had written had hurt any of you here. Dalam pergaulan dan interaksi kita seharian, dalam keadaan sedar ataupun tidak, kita pasti ada melukakan hati, menyakiti, menaikkan kemarahan, mendukakan, menyinggung perasaan... and for all that, I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. Minta dihalalkan makan dan minum..

Labaikallah Hummalabaik..

Bonjour Paris

Had an amazing week in France this week, working for 2 days with clients in Nantes and enjoyed the sites and sounds of Paris with AZ thereafter. Will write more about this beautiful city when I'm not so jet-lagged, but for now, do enjoy some of the pictures...

The awe-inspiring Tour Eiffel

Me, a mime & the Arc de Triomphe

The Champs Elysees, home to sinful designer labels

AZ in the Sully Wing at the Louvre

The Pyramide seems out of place but somehow

blended with the centuries old Louvre Palais

The view from the Eiffel Tower is simply breathtaking

Thanks so much to Encik Mazlan & Puan Normah for this work-cum-pleasure trip. And to my darling AZ, thank you for the really special Anniversary presents (^_^)

8.1.11 is Adlina's 12th Birthday

Adlina's Party Pinata

(Beaten to death by everyone!)

Adlina + Cousins

Happy Birthday to my darling princess, Adlina who just turned 12. I can't believe how much Adlina has grown from a cute baby, to an adorable little girl, and now to a beautiful young lady. Adlina is a real blessing in my life and every single day I thank Allah for giving her to me.

As she grows, I see more and more of me in her. Adlina is truly Mini Mama, only she will be better than me in every way, I'm sure of that.

To Adlina: I love you so much sayang.. Happy 12th Birthday darling!

1.1.11

The first day of every year is always special to me as it marks the anniversary of my marriage to AZ. We have been together for 17 years and I am so thankful to Allah for giving me the blessing of a soulmate. Alhamdulillah..

When you start your life together with someone, you always pray for the best but you never know where the relationship will take you. In my field, I have seen so many marriages crumble and end in bitter divorces and separations. I have seen friends who were so in love with each other but after a few years of living together, prefer to live separate lives. In a world full of distractions and temptations, lasting meaningful relationships are becoming less and less of a norm.

In the past 2 years, I've been called to speak at several seminars to advice women on their rights in law. I met many women in sad, abusive relationships. Some women are in unhappy relationships but have chosen to stay married for the sake of their children. Others stay married although they know of their husband's infidelities as they feel that they have no other options. For some, being married is just a matter of convenience.

And this is why I am so thankful to be with AZ. He accepts me as I am (fat + fluff included!). He understands me so well. He amuses me when I'm down. He shares in my joy and achievements. He supports me in all my endeavours. AZ completes me. He is my companion, my strength. AZ is my life.

We have both grown so much in this relationship. We have changed and evolved over these 17 years. And we are lucky that these changes have brought us together and not apart. Every day I love and respect him more and more. I never believed this could be possible.

To AZ: Happy Anniversary, darling. Thank you for everything that you are to me. I am really blessed to have you and our lovely children in my life. Alhamdulillah..

To everyone out there: Wishing all of you a Very Special New Year full of happy surprises, unexpected opportunities and wonderful achievements! Let's all resolve to be a better person this year (^_^)

Adlan's PMR Results

Congratulations to Adlan for getting 5As & 3Bs in his PMR. Bs for BM, Sejarah & Agama is a real achievement for Adlan who normally scores Cs in his past exams for those subjects...

Well Done, darling! Mama and Papa are mighty proud of you!

PS: Adlan missed an A to guarantee him a set of Roland Drums that he's been pining for all year long. Papa and Mama are now in process of reviewing this requirement based on VERY VERY good behaviour (^_^)

Victoria Sandwich Cake

Fresh Strawberries with cake is always a winner!

I've used a square baking pan instead
to cut the cake easier in squares.

Baked this last night and the residents of Danau Kaseh loved it. Very simple recipe and would like to share it with you here:-

Ingredients

250g butter (softened)
1 cup Caster Sugar
2 cups Self Raising Flour
4 Eggs
1 tsp Vanilla Essence
Icing sugar
Strawberry Jam
Strawberries
Whipped Double Cream

Method

1. Cream Butter & Sugar until light & fluffy.
2. Add Vanilla Essence and Eggs 1 at a time.
3. Add Flour until smooth.
4. Pour mixture into 2 identical baking pans. Best baked in 20cm Round shaped baking pans.
5. Bake at 180c for 25-30 minutes.
6. Cool cakes and then sandwich with jam, strawberries & cream.
7. Dust top of cake with Icing Sugar.

Note : The Strawberries and cream are optional. The cake is also delicious with just strawberry or raspberry jam. With strawberries & cream, the cake should be eaten on day of baking.

Good Luck with the recipe & I hope your family will enjoy the cake as much as mine did (^_^)